Your fear.

Now,when I mention the word "fear",can you tell me what fears you the most in life? Humans fear a lot of things.There are many things to be afraid of,the worst is the fear of the unknown.Some of us choose to keep it to ourselves,because we know exactly that if you display your fear to the whole world,wouldn't it give a reason for them to knock you down?I choose to write this one because I know many of you can relate to this.

The one thing you fear the most is your emotion.Damn it,why do humans have emotions? Alright moving on, some of us are wise enough to avoid any emotional feelings because you know exactly that all good things will come to an end.You refuse to love or for anyone to love you, you never want to succumb to everything that's related to  emotions because you're just afraid,you have this fear inside of you. Maybe its because you are still hurt by your past.The fact that someone hurt you before changed you into this coward bastard who is too afraid to actually learn to love again.

You compare things happening now to things that happened back then, you relate your past to your present.This time although it is different,you want to find the same mistakes ,you want to stay away from that mistakes before everything gets fucked up.You're afraid that they actually might be something different ,you want people to prove themselves, prove that they're not the same.You pushed them away.

You've been alone for way too long now,you caged yourself,you are afraid to free yourself from that motherfucking cage,because you are secured,you are doing fine on your own.The idea of letting someone into your life scares you,batshit crazy.After a while,you got tired of the loneliness,you said you dont want to be alone anymore.But you are afraid,afraid to let people in.So you kept on telling yourself that you don't need anything more than what you already have now.

Darling,I can assure you that you're screwed.

You became selfish as fuck because you think you deserve what you want after what happened in the past, damn right you do.

Because of what people did to you in the past,you come out with your idea of nothing will ever be good enough,and that there will always be another chance for people to hurt you again and that you assume in the end ,everything will comes tumbling down.You become this person who as if you can already tell there's always something wrong ,even when in reality everything is well.Darling,truth is,you're screwed,there is a war inside of you.

You want to stop the war,but you are incapable of doing so.And when people can't handle you and they choose to leave,you let them.Because nothing matters,they don't matter.

And then you look in the mirror,and right then and there you know you are looking at someone who is not sure she deserves to be loved at all.All you see now,is a person,so lonely and weak,vulnerable at your best.And you finally realize that you deserve to be alone after all.The fear that you have,it became a part of you.You fear too much ,you don't want to come out from your cage,you refuse to let people in,you don't want to take risks and just freaking live.You sit there,emotionless, thinking what's next?

You figured ,the heck you care who chooses to stay or who chooses to leave because honestly,you don't really give a fuck anymore,because you are fine on your own.

But hey,no one will stay long enough if you choose not to take that risk.For that reason,people always leave.

And as for that,I never cared enough to stay.

For whatever fear that I have,I am ending this.