oh mother.

I would like to start this post by saying that it is with utmost gratification that I am announcing the fact that I'll be having another twenty two days of time-wasting activities. Long breaks are the best at least to me ,when it comes to doing nothing ,I pretty much enjoy it .

Oh, how are you feeling today? Alright? No? Good.

You see,although I still have weeks of hols to kill,I can't find a time to even read books.I have always been wanting to read good novels since I started my degree.When I was put in a really hectic schedule,I couldn't find a time,all I ever wanted was to sit down and read good novels,I couldn't wait for the semester to end because I swore to myself that I needed an escape,to read all the novels that I've abandoned for quite some time.Funny how when the semester ends and when I am having motherload of time to waste,I became uninterested in reading novels.Shit I don't know what is wrong with me.Anyhow, I'm thinking that I should start reading novels as those books ought to give me a peace of soul, one way or another.

Last few days,an old dear friend of mine came and asked me what is my New Year's resolution.

And BAM realization strikes as I couldn't give her an answer.

 A new year is not a big deal to me, it never has been.What is my New Year's resolution eh? And then I figured,if you want to make any changes in your life or yourself ,lets say you want to be a better person,darling you can do it anytime, you don't have to wait for the new years. If you want to start doing good things ,well that is even awesome,good things aren't meant to do us any harm and  if we just decide to just go and do it, even if it's just a mite, we would be a better person, everyday.And that,ladies and gentlemen,needs you to master 'the power of now.'

So, you can kid yourself with New Year's resolutions but hell, that's not for me.Say if I were to change, in a way or two, it will be purely for myself as only then will I be completely certain of the decision I've made being the right one and only then will I never look back to who I used to be.

Evidently, a good change is the way to go.

I am almost 20. Hallelujah for the 19 years of my life. I'm all grown up now,not a little girl anymore,can't go around being a crybaby,no, not anymore.I once told myself that I'm done being a crybaby,lets try being  hardcore. Geez,as mental as I still am, I'm only a danger to myself.

One thing that I notice is that,the more I grow up, the more I start thinking like my mother.I remember,I used to cause mischiefs to this family,yes ,quite a lot I must say.I admit that I annoy the crap out of her most of the times.I even came to a point when my ego and anger boiled up and burst into flames and she became the victim.Yes,I used to be mean,and that is something I am never proud of.I failed to understand that she only wants the best for me even when at times I don't understand the reason.And when I saw her crying,

that was when I promise I will never hurt her again.

During our teenage years,where we were at our rebellious phase in life,at that particular stage of constantly throwing tantrums,you never understand why your mother keeps nagging all the time.But its her way of trying to shape you.Although my siblings and I are all grown up now,my mother still nags ,yes that's what she do best,but we somehow,are more wise enough to now agree with her.

All I want to tell you is that,if you're still at that particular stage where you find it hard to agree with your mother most of the times,give your mother a break,she only wants the best for you ,and even if you sometimes finds it hard to please her,give her a break anyway,because soon you will understand why. 

And when you look back on the things that your mother used to tell you or warned you,the do's and don't,you will now agree with her.You will reach to a point where you know what's truly best for yourself ,has long been told by your mother.

Sweethearts,we are growing up and aging is not something most of us are fond of,but do keep in mind that our mother is getting older too and we are pretty much aware of the fact that one day she will not be there anymore. Now don't you go on hurting her,because for everything that she did for the family ,the least that you can do is to make her happy. Oh and your dad too. Trust me,its never too late to make up to them for everything that you did to them years ago or probably just an hour ago.