backfired.

Now now sweethearts,have you ever felt like your life is literally in complete shambles?  You've reached a boiling point where everything just feels like collapsing . You bottle things up,you explode over something stupid and small and the other person has no idea why you're so angry. Have you ever gotten to the point where your body spasms randomly and violently?Your heart beats at a rapid inconsistent pace and you cannot slow it down. All the anger that has been building up. It's a constant ache.You wonder,have you gone mad,or are you never sane to begin with. You clam up to any situations,you come off as quite passive,you accept what comes at you whether it would be negative or positive.You let your emotions bottle up inside of you till it explode. You don’t know how much fight you have left in you,where everything feels like it just drowns and consumes you in the day ,and follows you in the sunlight and haunt your shadows, if that was the last stand you would be fine, but when these terrors follow you into your dreams and became your worst nightmares, it just goes to show that nothing is off limits, nothing is held at a distances from the contamination which are your thoughts, your thoughts which have never withered or hesitated to rise after being pushed down as deeply as possible.You feel like no one understands or makes an effort to hear you out,and you hit your boiling points.You feel like your emotions have flown out of your souls just like those cliché bird tattoos.

Have people told you how you've made them feel lately and how you've made them upset and just pinpointing everything bad you've done?And then you feel like exploding,you can feel it pushing you,you're screaming in your head,building a whirlwind inside of you.How sad it is because you cant tell them to stop because that’d be selfish so you just let them keep going and you feel yourself just at boiling point about to blow.You ended up gripping your hair and just singing along to all the words they uttered to your face. You want to be oblivious to avoid the conflicts.You wish all of those what has been said to you were better written to you on a book ,so that you can rip it off later because ripping pages from the book seems so much easier than reading them. When they spoke of those vicious words, you became speechless and too focused to control your anger and not embarrass yourself that you didn't do anything. You feel like you will never have the balls to confront them and everything will always be wrong. You're afraid. You tried so hard to maintain your composure because the cap was just gone.It’s at that point, you need another refresher, another refresher as to what it feels like to be in those phases.Cause after all, when you’re mad, never will it all feel the same.

As you breath out blazing fire,tears welled up in your eyes.And it finally hit you,that this isn't anger,this is pain.You are not angry,you are hurt.You sit there ,imagining yourself walking on the roof and feel the world spin. You closed your eyes,and a rush of ice cold ran through your veins. You feel ice cold,and unknowingly suffocating as you tries to breath at the bottom of the pool.You opt for an escape from this pain. And you let your words bubble over the surface and flow out,hoping you don't get burned on the way down.

The unbearable burden of existing,never did the trick.

A hush descended over you ,backfired big time.