amour propre

 I would’ve painted my wrist with clean fingertips but now I paint it with blood stained fingertips .Nothing about doing this is beautiful, in fact it is everything else. Anybody would say I made myself hard to love but even then, you loved me. Because,a person didn’t stop smoking by quitting right then and there.You cut your smoking down to five four three two one stick a day until you finally decided that you could live without it. 

You didn't say anything so I wouldn't lose hope. 
But in the end of the day,I have to start over  fifty times,left in the same place,smoking a pack a day.