i just haven't found a way yet.

No matter how life decides to treat me badly last couple of days,but i'm tougher.i'm not going to be taken down.Let's just pretend that everything is okay.

it's been hard lately,but it ain't going to be the reason why i would choose to give up. Learning becomes harder than what i expected it would be,and i'm trying to be positive about it.I would tell myself that i can do this because i want it to seem easy to learn.I tried searching for notes and past year questions for each subjects,and i hope this effort won't go wasted.I really want this,i do.Apart from that,i'm preparing myself for the Malaysian University English Test (MUET).This has been stressing me out since the very first time the lecturer mention it.It terrifies me a lot ,literally. Since i finished my schooling ,i forgot everything about learning.During in class here,i have problems trying to come out with ideas when it comes to writing essays.Maybe i should read more,and maybe i should stop doing things that distract me from studying .I'm just plain confuse about what should i do next.Assignments keeps coming and i have to catch up with those seven subjects.Everything seems harder right now.Shit just got real.Its time to be serious,lydiana. Maybe i'm just being too fussy,but i hated the fact that my class schedule is a bit too packed. I have classes until 11pm at night from Monday to Thursday and i can't find time to revise on my notes .At weekend,i am suppose to be studying because i have no class .But instead,i find it rather hard to study during weekend because i always have stuffs to do,stupid and unnecessary i would assume.I don't know what's wrong with me.I want to find a time to study but when i have time,i don't want to study.My mind feels like exploding.There's just too much going on in my life right now.However,i do believe that i can get through this.Its just that i haven't found a way  on how to deal with it yet.

And sometimes,the best way to keep myself strong is to smile even though it gets harder each and every day.