worthless,nay darlings.

I once had a friend,a dear friend of mine.I remember clearly that day when she came running towards me,tears in her eyes,an expression as if she just got beaten up, as she tried to stop the tears from falling,she looked at me and asked 

"why am I unattractive?" 

Now darlings,this is somehow ridiculous,don't you think? well ,you’re basically completely ignored in a lot of situations, it’s fine, honestly,it is completely fine.You don't have to cry,you don't have to feel sad when people doesn't want you just because you are unattractive. I have a lot of attractive friends,and i don't know how they deal with the onslaught of unwanted attention. I am not that,I do not receive that attention.For many people, I am just a roadblock.Most of my attractive friends,they have to deal with all kinds of people trying to talk to them and be their friends.When they are ignorant of these people who wants attention from them,they get all various kinds of  insults lobbed right to their faces.

Its funny how people say “You are beautiful,you should be more confident and be happy with yourself and someone will love you,just don't beat yourself up over it."  Don’t get me wrong. Sometimes it’s nice to be invisible,really. But on the other hand, it’s impossible to find friends. It can be lonely too. People doesn't want to talk to you,they don't "see" you.When this happens,you have to play your part darling, get up and talk to people,make them notice you even if it means taking the risks of people talking over you,talk down on you , dismiss your ideas and your very person. For the most part,you have to learn not to give the slightest care about what people think of you,be confident.

Mental note,you are not sad because you are unattractive,you are sad because you are not confident.Your flaw,self confidence issues.Now,what makes us so anxious, worry, second guess ourself and overall give us self confidence issues? I tell you this,no one starts of unconfident. No one goes to kindergarten worrying about how their hair looks or what clothes to wear,no, no one cares. But as time passes,as we aged a little bit older every single day,we choose  people to surround ourselves by or are forced to be surrounded by. Bullies, family crisis, love, flings, relationships, abuse, heart break, failure, all  that can plumid ones self esteem over time.Just like confidence can decrease overtime it takes time to increase also.

You see,have you ever feel lonely in the midst of a crowd?Have you ever feel like people just dont want to talk to you or even "see" you?Because there’s the idea, the implication, that you “aren’t going to do any better.” 

Sweethearts,I've been through it before. One point in my life,I was at my lowest. I detest people and I always tried to keep any human interactions as minimum as possible. You may say that how sad it would be,but I say,I am sorry to myself,because it is not the problem with people.It is my problem. Self-confidence issue. As i grew up,I tried to step out from my comfort zone, learned to dress myself better, have really grown into myself,  i’ve done everything humanly possible to make myself look better and be better for myself and for everyone else,and right now my life has gotten better since I resigned myself to it.I learnt to talk to people and just,be friendly,although I know I am unattractive,but I don't let it get to me because physical appearance is not the problem,really.

You're not afraid of people because you are unattractive,you are afraid of people because you have low self esteem.

Bottom line is,it has nothing to do with people,it's you,it's your problem.

But if you still think that you don't have self confidence issues or you feel that confidence is not your problem,if you still think that people don't want to talk to you just because you are unattractive,just remember this,as flawed as you might be, as unattractive as you sometimes feel, and as unaccomplished as you think you are,never let these things determines your happiness.

Another thing is,you may feel that you are unable to find love,because in addition to the fact that you think you're unattractive,you're not particularly good looking,you also set your standards unrealistically high after years of mentally dating all these fictional characters you created in your head.You desire to be so attractive that you want someone who is undeniably attractive as well.This message,I have to convey to all the girls out there.Honey,you don't love someone for their physical appearance,you love someone for their soul.For me personally,beautiful souls are worth to be loved.If there is one thing I have to tell you,it would be this,dear,let someone love your flaws.Never hide all the parts of you that are broken, out of fear that someone else is incapable of loving what is less than perfect. If you believe such thing as no one's going to love you for who you are is just like believing that sunlight is incapable of entering a broken window and illuminating a dark room.

But you see,I've been observing a lot of people.The kind of person who likes to be alone a lot.The kind of person who walks alone,reading by herself/himself in public or on the bus.You may say how sad their life would be.And then it hit me,despite having no interruptions by any other human beings,despite only leering stares that people are capable of giving you when you sit alone, people just sort of look at you, look past you. 

And that's that.