amour propre

Because this year I let go of one of the largest parts and person in my life. I finally have the guts,after years of battling with my fear.I finally let go of something I couldn't even dream about a few years ago, even when I was ending up crying every other night.It wasn't that bad because when I look back ,I've come to realize how much I have grown for the better.I lose a few but I  obtained a healthier few of what I deserve.Because this year amazing people made impacts on me I can’t even begin to explain. For a few years I had so much going down hill,I wasted those few years trying to change things that weren't even destined to be mine.I was happy until destiny greedily change it's minds.Nevertheless,I am grateful,for being able to forgive myself ,and to never go back to where I was before. I learned so much in that time. I am not ashamed to admit that I believe in God,that He has done so many things in my life that I am so thankful of. I lost people along the way,and never did once He failed in reaching His arms out to pull me up. In my moments of grievance,when I fought through that one time in my life when I almost given up on life,He sent me help,in the friends I made.God planned everything,I believe He holds my future and I believe He removed a few people from my life for a reason. For the efforts and time .For giving me those beautiful moments of laughter and joy,it meant the world to me. I had the honour of knowing a few people who are so pure and golden in their soul ,it’s amazing. People who I can sit with and share everything with and the depths of my mind with, knowing I will still be loved. Friends who will go on adventures with. Who listen to me and truly be supportive. Friends who are so kind to me, those peole I hope I never lose. Who choose to stick with me through this and have been so patient and loving. Who didn’t walk away. Who know me so well .Who made sure to always check in and offer what they could do to make me feel better. I will never forget the kindness of their soul. I have so much to be thankful for. Above all,thank you for loving me,for loving all my flaws.I’m going to still have nights where I cry, where I think nothing is going to get better and my my minds attacking me.But I will also have nights like this where I reflect calmly and see all the joy and light I’ve had. It’s a reminder that there is light even in the darkest of times.