rebuilt.

Have you ever just,looked at yourself in the mirror Stretch marks,scars and other imperfections covering your body. And you thought to yourself,I hate my body.In fact,at some point,everyone feels that way. Humans,bloody ungrateful,don't you think?  I used to do that. I used to feel so insecure about everything. But as I grew up,I discovered that my insecurities and my flaws were things that I actually need to embrace.Of all things I wish for in this world,I wanted to scribble out my scars.It constantly reminds me of those stupid things I did when I was a teenager. Oh what a waste of a perfectly good clean wrist. Tears started to brim my eyes every time I looked at myself in the mirror. No I am not sad. Not now. Not anymore. When I look at myself in the mirror now,I see a lady,who had battled through struggles. I used to hide things,I used to conceal everything because I am ashamed of myself. Of what other people did to me,and of what I did to myself. Half of my struggles has been put to an end once I decided to be better not long ago. I do have my own struggles now,but you see, I am at this point where everything is finally coming together. I can see myself moving forward. My life has been finally rebuilt. It took me a while to get to where I am now,and I still have a long way to go,but I know I am getting closer to my goals than I was yesterday. 

This one goes to that one person who I love the most.

 I know I told him this many many times before,but hey, thank you for coming into my life at the right time. Whenever I had a bad day,he is the only person who I want to run into and just hug him until I feel better. He is that one person who keeps on reminding me of what matters the most in life. He is that one person who makes this place feels like home. I wonder how could he possibly took the hint that something is wrong just by looking at my face. I wonder how he is able to pull me into his arm and press my head to his chest and told me he know something is not right. How is that even possible. How can I let this person come into my life,allowing  his arms to be around me.How could he know everything about me,my flaws and my insecurities and my fears,and still love me for that. How could he comfort me just by letting my head rest in the crook of his neck and let me cry softly,ignoring the fact that my small drops of tears dotted the top of his shirt. How could he make me feel so safe in his arm at that moment. How could he is able to hold me tighter while I cry,while he traced his fingers up my back,without saying anything .as if  he knows I just needed to cry and knows I'm too sad to even speak How could I let this person's lips brushed against my forehead,while the tips of his fingers ran underneath both of my eyes catching the tears that had fallen. How could he never got tired of saying that I am strong enough even if I told him I am weak a million of times before,I mean how could he never got tired of it.How could he tell me again and again that I am perfect no matter how many times I told him I would never be able to look at myself the way he did. I feel undeserving of him. And I couldn’t get him to see myself the way I did because apparently, he saw something much greater than what I really was.That day when he hold me so tight when I cried,he told me to promise him that I would never feel like this again. At that moment,the hatred i had been feeling for myself started to fade away and replaced with the love I felt for him.My sister told me not long ago,why do I feel so undeserving of his love. She told me its because I am so used to being unhappy before, that when life decides to give me happiness at last,I feel something is not right. She told me to hold on to this one person.

I used to be so insecure about everything,but he help me grew out of it. He did not only taught me what love is ,but he taught me what life is. He showed me how to love a person this much and how to live as much as I can. He is giving me that. I was on the verge of giving up,not too long ago,when he came and pulled my hands up and helped me rebuilt my life,that I am so glad I let him pulled me up. He put every broken pieces of me together,he stitches them together patiently, and when I look at him, I know I have one good guardian angel sent from above.