last chapter.

Good morning earthlings. Now,the other day I did mentioned that I never had the chance to finish my last chapter. I finished it. I finally decided to write the last chapter because..let me just keep it to myself. Now,I know it may contradict to what I've said earlier,you can go ahead and say it.But as for me,I have my own reason.Sorry if it upsets you so much that I did something I told I'd never do.No,it is not a long one. I wanted to end the story. And I am giving you the privilege to read that one last chapter. My "concrete angel" is now completed,however people won't get to read the other chapters,keeping it for good. Heck,here goes my last chapter.Pardon me if it's not good enough.

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When she stepped her feet to the entrance,she paused. Taken aback by the swarms of highly respected people,and of how big the place is,her eyes widen. You can do this,as she whispered to herself.Nervous looks and a skipping heartbeat,she was just a girl saddened with change yet anticipating the future.Migrating into a new place was never her favourite. To adapt and to start accepting what is now put in front of her,

how do people do that,she said.

 A huge screen played in her head. Picture of what happened a few years back ,a picture of herself,just a girl fighting to not end her own life. With trembling hands and anxiety embedded in her bones,she wouldn't had the strength to put the knife down if it wasn't because of her family. Above all else,family is the most important thing.Cold hands holding a knife,unwilling to look deep within the dark broken eyes of hers laying down lifeless. Family,is everything that she has. Shattered,she threw away the knife,an epitome of all of her deepest struggles underneath its wooden handle.

"Hey you're coming?" a voice immediately startled her thoughts.Bringing her senses back ,she walked away with a few kind souls she just met. 

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She was just a junior,struggling to find herself,with crinkled eyebrows ,uttering confusion as she goes,but God knows she has an innate desire to live. She didn't know it was supposed to be this hard. She didn't realize the pressure that would overwhelm her soul as she chose the city that would be her home for the next four years of her life. She didn't understand that every decision she have made in the past has made her the person she is today.

Picking up the pieces,every last bit of it,is a lifelong progress. It takes time,they said.The wounds are still there,but she is fixing it. Of all the things she could have ever thank herself for is for not taking away her own life that night. Again,thinking about the past ,Anastasya? Focus focus focus.

"Hi,my name is J.And yours is?"

Awakened from her thoughts,she looked up ,and there, he stood.

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On her graduation day,he stood there ,smiling. This was the person who has pushed her through the four years of college.And as she looked at this man,she thought to herself, she wished she could go back.To go back and tell herself that it's going to be okay. To go back and talk to herself to inhale every moment as if it was the last breath of oxygen she would ever take.To go back and tell herself to take notes and to push herself outside of her comfort zone . To tell her old self that this too shall pass. To live.Oh how she want to go back to tell herself to take notes.That sometimes,things just happen,that it will be difficult,it's supposed to be difficult but it will be okay. To tell her rebellious teenager soul to love her parents wholeheartedly. To not rush out of childhood.To tell herself that to breathe in the softness every moment . And to just let out the bitterness that inhabited her tears everytime she is let down.And those moments when she thought no one will ever love her,she wished she could go back and tell herself that those lovely things are worth waiting for.To tattoo every exhilarating moment on her adolescent heart. To go back and tell herself to never give in to her foolish vulnerability.To whisper to her old self that she is truly capable of anything,to tell herself that she was worth it.

Allowing herself to grasp the enormity of all the tragedy in her life,she knew she survived the odds. 

Those four years in college drag on longer than anything she ever known,but when she's in it,it almost seems like there's nothing else is out there.Somewhere between all those long hours of studying,of getaway weekends ,of friendships made and of a true love,is where she find the strength to carry on.Those years escape,they vanish into the oblivion and are only to be lived again through pictures and fondly looked upon memories of a thriving time that once was. When she first entered college,her heart breaks at the amount of changes she had to undergo.Those years passed by,still,her heart breaks at people whom she had lost that will never see her turn into the woman she always wanted to be. Though her heart breaks,she was happy,for the past four years have been the richest of her fleeting life. 

"Babe,come I'll take a photo with you and your parents."

Again,drifted away in her own thoughts,he brought her back to reality. There,in her graduation robe,staring at her parent's face,she wept tears of joy. 

And yes, she was contented,because of this.

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She was a depressed teenager a few years back who wanted to end her life.But now,she is in the kitchen, making some sandwiches,and she could hear her husband making silly voices followed by the loud screaming giggling voices of two little girls.

And she smiled,for everything that she has in life at that moment.

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You see,life gets better,make sure you're there to see it.

-End-